Not a lot of balance

There is a tension between order and disarray.

The problem is that maintaining order requires concentration and constant work, making sure stuff doesn't fall in the place where it shouldn't be. And when it does, moving it from the place where it fell to the place where it should be.

Sometimes I am simply tired, other times really really busy, and sometimes it is even a matter of not having a head for being present and in the moment taking care of the world.

That is when, after I get tired of being tired, I tend to look up and see that the world around it is in complete disarray (or at least in more disarray that I want it to be).

Eventually I will find the strength to organize all. Roll up my sleeves, organize everything in 20 min and feel better about it.

But for now I will keep it there, feel bad when I see it, and try to ignore it the rest of the time. I just don't have the strength right now to organize my mess.